How to have your avo on toast and eat it too

It takes hard work. When I was planning my first big adventure, I wasn’t wasting my hard-earned savings on things like feather dusters and faux-French placemats.

Homebuyers, white picket fencers, settle-downers – it’s come to my attention that many of you are simply expecting too much from the world and could do with some advice. Take it from me, I started out with a small parental donation of zero thousand dollars, so I should know.

The thing is, mortgagees, I feel bad for you. I see you with your beautiful houses and I just know that what you really want in the world is to actually enjoy life. To know the feeling of heading to the airport, buying yourself a cappuccino and enjoying the shit out of it as you wander to your gate.  

Waiting eagerly to step out into the unknown and managing to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in three different countries in a day, enjoying smashed avo on toast for at least one of those meals.

But all that house buying is holding you back. ​

​It takes hard work. When I was planning my first big adventure, I wasn’t wasting my hard-earned savings on things like feather dusters and faux-French placemats. So many of you expect to go out and buy a new set of Egyptian cotton sheets every year – but you need to face the facts, it’s just not doable when you should be putting that money towards more valuable pursuits.

Everybody is taking helicopter rides in the Grand Canyon, sailing through Glacier Bay in Alaska, and paragliding in Austria, so it only makes sense that you want to do it, too, right? So what are you going to do about it? These things don’t come cheap, and it’s frankly ridiculous that so many of our misguided and entitled generation believe they could have these life-altering, eye-opening experiences and still be tied into a 30-year mortgage.

While knowing exactly how life is going to go and spending the majority of your earnings on house payments, property taxes, and repairs is truly a thrilling pursuit; when are you going to submit to the cultural norm of nomadic living? You simply need to re-organise your mindset.

​When are you going to take some responsibility for a more frivolous lifestyle? Put down that home and contents insurance policy and find yourself a nice round-the-world ticket you can count on. Stop retiling the kitchen and learn how to roll your clothes into a backpack to make more room for souvenirs. Give up on the idea of a tidy backyard with a raised veggie bed and get out and discover the real backyard and some of the most uncomfortable beds you’ve ever slept on.

Now, you can’t expect to start out with a world cruise. You’ll begin with sleeping on floors in airports, sharing rooms with eight snoring strangers in hostels, and dining on picnic meals from the supermarket rather than fancy five-star restaurants. But if you work hard and limit yourself to buying just one or two throw pillows per year, you might be able to work your way up.

No more excuses Millennials, it’s time to pace yourself with all that homebuying. It’s really not that hard once you put your mind to it, and you’ll quickly learn how wonderful, surprising and utterly unmissable this world really is, one smushy avocado-on-toast at a time.

Author - Hayley Clark

Hayley Clark is a Kiwi with a to-do list that reads like a list of countries with trees. A copywriter by night, her days are spent chasing empty powder runs and decent coffees with equal fervour and success in Whistler, Canada.